Interesting list, I think there may be some repetition but knowing a little about your background from your 'About Alisha' article I wonder if this list includes things you didn't have the opportunity to do while in your age gap marriage.
Full disclosure I've been married for 45 years in total with one divorce roughly in the middle, I've done a lot of the things on the list out of necessity. My first house needed decoration, never done it before but. learnt by my mistakes. Buying a car with a lot of rusty bits? Got that experience too. Modern cars are almost impossible to service except check water, oil and tyre pressures. Gave up changing tyres years ago... very bad for your back muscles, learnt that the hard way.
Good list though and I can see a lot of thought went into it
Hi Murray =) Yes, the research bot had some sort of method for collecting the information with resources. There were various resources representing multi-cultural POV, and so I think this list read much like a psychology and self-development experiment. My age gap marriage only lasted several months. (I caught them doing some very stupid and dangerous things which allowed me to see my way out, and they did not object.) However just the same as a typical marriage might, being willingly overbusied and married to my work due to fear of lack, has really been the tunnel keeping me away from newness and self-expansion. (Perhaps like others?), in a way, the covid shut down changed all of that, I suppose permanently. I have learned how precious my “free time” really is, and why it is important to own all of it, much as possible. Kudos to your experiences of marriages totaling 45 years, and to your learning through mistakes. I can relate to the mistakes part! =)
Thank you for sharing this with such honesty. Your perspective highlights something we don’t always talk about, that both marriage and being unmarried carry their own forms of privilege, challenge, and growth. I love the way you frame it as an opportunity to know ourselves better, rather than being defined by what society expects. That’s a powerful reminder.
I appreciate your taking time to read my article. This is my pleasure to read your response here. You summarized my intention beautifully, thank you! I am working on valuing myself, and along the way am searching for ways to share what I learn or think of. The list was so helpful for me to quantify what I can do for myself. I am grateful you liked it, too!
What I’m finding interesting about the list is that there are so many things on here that are good and possible essential to do if you’re in a healthy relationship. I finally found a partner who has introduced me to the vital work behind a strong relationship and cultivating your own self is priority number one that is rarely talked about, or at least rarely instructed.
Hi Friend =) <3 Thank you for reading through the list, and for your insight about it. Thinking about what you wrote, I was relieved in a way, that there were some obvious 'building blocks' amongst the items in this list. To your point, it 'makes total sense' that a strong relationship has the best chance of rooting when someone has their own strong roots. It is BEAUTIFUL that your partner is aware of what it takes to make LOVE REAL. You deserve the BEST. I was also just wondering WHY we do not teach human relations courses to children... WTH?!
It’s astonishing that capitalism has such a stranglehold on all aspects of our lives that we have poor instruction on how to simply be a human. Divorce is great for the economy! Double Christmas!
Interesting list, I think there may be some repetition but knowing a little about your background from your 'About Alisha' article I wonder if this list includes things you didn't have the opportunity to do while in your age gap marriage.
Full disclosure I've been married for 45 years in total with one divorce roughly in the middle, I've done a lot of the things on the list out of necessity. My first house needed decoration, never done it before but. learnt by my mistakes. Buying a car with a lot of rusty bits? Got that experience too. Modern cars are almost impossible to service except check water, oil and tyre pressures. Gave up changing tyres years ago... very bad for your back muscles, learnt that the hard way.
Good list though and I can see a lot of thought went into it
Hi Murray =) Yes, the research bot had some sort of method for collecting the information with resources. There were various resources representing multi-cultural POV, and so I think this list read much like a psychology and self-development experiment. My age gap marriage only lasted several months. (I caught them doing some very stupid and dangerous things which allowed me to see my way out, and they did not object.) However just the same as a typical marriage might, being willingly overbusied and married to my work due to fear of lack, has really been the tunnel keeping me away from newness and self-expansion. (Perhaps like others?), in a way, the covid shut down changed all of that, I suppose permanently. I have learned how precious my “free time” really is, and why it is important to own all of it, much as possible. Kudos to your experiences of marriages totaling 45 years, and to your learning through mistakes. I can relate to the mistakes part! =)
Thank you for sharing this with such honesty. Your perspective highlights something we don’t always talk about, that both marriage and being unmarried carry their own forms of privilege, challenge, and growth. I love the way you frame it as an opportunity to know ourselves better, rather than being defined by what society expects. That’s a powerful reminder.
I appreciate your taking time to read my article. This is my pleasure to read your response here. You summarized my intention beautifully, thank you! I am working on valuing myself, and along the way am searching for ways to share what I learn or think of. The list was so helpful for me to quantify what I can do for myself. I am grateful you liked it, too!
What I’m finding interesting about the list is that there are so many things on here that are good and possible essential to do if you’re in a healthy relationship. I finally found a partner who has introduced me to the vital work behind a strong relationship and cultivating your own self is priority number one that is rarely talked about, or at least rarely instructed.
Hi Friend =) <3 Thank you for reading through the list, and for your insight about it. Thinking about what you wrote, I was relieved in a way, that there were some obvious 'building blocks' amongst the items in this list. To your point, it 'makes total sense' that a strong relationship has the best chance of rooting when someone has their own strong roots. It is BEAUTIFUL that your partner is aware of what it takes to make LOVE REAL. You deserve the BEST. I was also just wondering WHY we do not teach human relations courses to children... WTH?!
It’s astonishing that capitalism has such a stranglehold on all aspects of our lives that we have poor instruction on how to simply be a human. Divorce is great for the economy! Double Christmas!